Wednesday, January 21, 2009

not so bad after all..

All these years, I never was a positive person. I only see the negative like a small dot in a clean, white paper. People have the tendency of ignoring the big picture and nitpick at the smallest flaw of anything. And I am no exception. It ain't a healthy life to live. I talk about gratitude with friends while here I am being the usual, ungrateful bitch I was.

I have been told of the poem, Desiderata. I can even hear my high school teacher now explaining the significance of its message. She said we should take it to heart and practice it when we grow old. But you know how old people sound to young, hyper teenagers. We respond with a nod, let it pass between our ears, pretend we care until the bell rings for recess.

If I can still remember it right (too lazy to google it. I suddenly felt the urge for writing while I checked my mails) the message was plain and simple. The way I understand it, the author wanted us to value the essence of contentment. In my generation today however, enriching this value is not an easy task. On the contrary, materialism is widely encouraged. You're eons behind if you don't have the latest.

Competition is another hindrance on your way to leading a satisfied life. I see a fresh graduate on his first job already tired and overworked. I doubt whether he truly loves the job for mostly don't. They're just in it for the money or experience to get them ahead of their career. Success now is measured through what you have. I mean, physical things. Cars, big houses, travels to I-don't-know-where, shopping sprees and anything you can come up with that has got to do with money and splash the pictures on their social pages for everyone to see and admire on how far you've gotten.

I shudder at the thought of seeing this future because it could be mine. If I will allow myself to get caught up with the game, I'd turn into someone I know not anymore. God forbid it.

Hey. I'm no saint and I'm not trying to imply I'm such a righteous person for saying all these. A hypocrite. That I would be if I deny at the very least of not daydreaming about having these glitzy things. I do too.

I just pray that when the imperative time to make a big decision comes (like job opportunities), I must narrow down the choices to what can make me happy and not the equivalent monetary gain I can possibly have out of it.

Do you ever wonder why those penniless artists appear serenely contented even when they always find themselves having ends meet? I know you know. THEY LOVE WHAT THEY DO! At times, we think it pathetic and impractical but I guess we were rendered blind with the small, impermanent things that we fail to see the big picture.

If I want to start living with contentment.. I must start small. And that is to appreciate everything hurled my way. There is a good reason for the saying, 'Count your blessings' It helps. Try doing it now. I'm pretty sure you'd be overwhelmed at how greatly you've been blessed. That's what I realized today. I hope you do too.

Hopefully, the ungrateful bitch I was never resurrects from its grave.


Hussein said...

you've been posting personal entries recently.. why? for a change?? heheh

aka Procne said...

So? So? Haha. Wala lang. Hey, this is mine. And it's not called a personal blog for nothing, you know. And besides, it's not like I'm recounting everything what happened from start to finish like an old classic diary. What I'm saying is the insights and lessons I learned through experiences. Okaaay?

I'm not gonna forever write about gossip, stalking celebs.. People might think I don't have a life. haha.

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