My blog is gathering cobwebs the more I let it be un-updated. I never had blog-hopped in a long, long time. I stopped writing for a while ever since I started working. It's not that I am too busy, well may be that's a part of it but it is not the most impending reason why I just sort of drifted away from the blogosphere.. it is the lack of having an internet connection.
As soon as we get wired to the net in our place, I promise to update more! A part of me feels guilty whenever I remember my blog lacks posts. Some bloggers feel obligated to update for their readers,well somehow I have that; if ever there really are readers considering the blog once reached a Google page rank of 4. However, what bugs me really is failing to chronicle more what happened in 2011. 2011 is such a big year for me. It brought about a lot of changes in my life and in others.
- GRADUATION AND FAREWELLS. The thunderous and joyous cheer as we tossed our caps to signal a closed chapter of our lives and the overwhelming hopes as we turn a page of a new one. But along that mixed joy and pride is the bittersweet separation from friends you got attached with over the years. *sigh* I realized, people come and go. You feel really close with someone and suddenly when you run into each other in the mall, it's all awkward. You run out of things to talk about too quickly for comfort. And it's sad. Things will never be the same. BUT it's a relief that there are certain sets of friends that no matter how long and far you spend the year/s apart, there's still that warm, fuzzy feeling whenever you're together. And the good thing is you never have to TALK. Having them there sitting with you with a cup of coffee is already pure joy. That my friends, is my idea of a lasting friendship and companionship, being comfortable with the silence.
- MOVING OUT. I FINALLY HAVE A PLACE OF MY OWN. Well technically I don't own it, I rent together with three of my friends since college. You think it's a piece of cake for someone who dreamed of moving out in a big city since but NO. IT WAS NOT A WALK TO THE PARK for me. Yes, in spite of growing up with household help, I did chores. BUT light chores. I know how to do the dishes and clean but I don't cook. Cooking never fell in the area of my expertise and interest, much to the despair of my father. And these chores I talk about only occur once a week during our house help's day off but to have to clean and take care of the house as a shared responsibility is somehow foreign to me. But I will get used to it. I still miss being taken cared of, A LOT but soon I hope things will go pretty smooth.
- WORK AND FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE. An 8-5pm job surprisingly came easy. It's just like going to school. In my firm we work in teams, thankfully I was assigned to a cool team. With the initial thought of having to adjust to a new set of people, I became wary of how I act around the office. I try to smile as much as I can coz whenever I keep silent, people always have this impression that I'm a snob. I'm aloof but I'm definitely not snob. In my honest opinion, I am actually friendly although I find it at times I find it difficult to blend in with certain types of persons. There are just those types that don't mesh well with your personality easily. Ergo, I take time to warm up. BUT I DO LIKE WHERE I'M IN right now. In spite of everything, I can say, for now I enjoy and thrive in what I do but it's just been a couple of months so I think I'll have to make a post of again AFTER the busy season by then I'd have more of a good evaluation of where I'm at now. On the other hand, financial matters are tricky. Before I received my first paycheck, I drained the monthly allowance my father sent me. He really scolded me with that. He was worried. Which is bad because I reckon the more he gets upset of my bold move to be independent, the more chance of seeing him here personally to fetch me and pack my things. SCARY. I won't want that. So I HAD to get a hold of myself. So far so good. I just purchased my first roundtrip tickets home! I feel elated to do that without using my Mom's card!
- THE TRAGIC END THAT WAS SENDONG. In defiance to my Mom's orders not to go home, I did. She didn't want me to see our place in a desolate state after Typhoon Sendong. Our home was not spared form his wrath. Sendong submerged our entire first floor and let our car float in the waters overnight. Amidst all that, I am grateful God spared my family's lives. All our properties can be washed away it won't be the end of my world.. but the dreadful thought of losing even one of them would kill a huge part of me. When I received my Mom's message asking for rescue in the middle of the night, I went haywire! I trembled in fear and helplessness as I worried over their safety. I scrambled to call for friends and relatives to ask of their state because at the time both of their phones went dead. It was an unforgettable night for me. It was a long, long night waiting for news. It was awful. I can do nothing but intently pray. Pray for their lives. I never had bargained with GOD. But at that time I did. I remember asking him to take away everything, the house, the documents, the car, even my job, just not them. Not them. I cried in relief when I finally heard my father's voice telling me in a tired voice that they are safe, that the water had begun to subside. He was holding back news of deaths, of destruction. He didn't want me to feel depressed. And I let him. However pictures of the aftermath were all over facebook. Pictures that spoke of deaths, grief, destruction, and hopelessness. In one night he rendered hundreds of people homeless, children orphaned, couples widowed, and parents childless. But it is more of a torture to have lost loved ones and not being able to know what became of them or even see their bodies. What happened to my hometown was unspeakably depressing. However. Filipinos are known for their resilience I know that in time my hometown will be able to overcome this trial. I am fervently hoping for a happier Iligan the next time I come home for a visit. I just know that somehow, someday, the wounds will heal and the scar it leaves will forever etch that dreadful day in everyone's memories and a lesson learned that Mother Nature when angered does not hold back.
I know, it has been a long entry. This is in attempt to chronicle 2011 as I greet a new year. :) 2012. May we all not depend our fates to a fictional dragon but instead, direct our hearts and hopes in prayer to God, the Master Planner whose plans can never be thwarted and whose plans are always intended for higher purpose. Always remember and keep in mind that no matter how things turn out, things will fall right into place in His own time. We only need to practice one discipline, the patience to wait.
HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Better late than never! :))