Monday, April 5, 2010

Going Nowhere. Maybe. Maybe Not.

10.30am. Two hours late for grad practice. From afar, I see a bevy of students lining up; the final practice for the processional. Sure they were whining over the heat and grumbling at the injustice of having to wait under the glaring sun. In spite of it all, you see them happily relieved; excitement glowing on their faces with spirits intoxicated with restlessness. They cannot wait to break free. To impose independence, a real one, finally. To explore. To soar. To surprise themselves; hoping for a splendid future. I'm even surprised I am saying this as I have heard it so many times before. The difference was, this time, it is an immediate reality to them. And when I think of it, I am swept away with a surreal mix of jealousy, relief and fear. And in that order.

Jealousy because it is not really the end of college for me. Relief because I need not face the anxiety for the future and the dilemma of which road to take. Fear. Naked fear for mine. On where life takes me after college which is an eventuality in a year or so.

College graduation. Been part to one last year. And it the feeling of triumph and relief on the actual day was indeed intoxicating. I even had goosebumps. I even choked. I couldn't explain it. How much more for those who really are graduating.

It means more to me this year. For my closest friends who have been a part of me for the last eight years are also a part of it. Soon, they embark on a journey, with or without a plan, to nowhere. To some place, I hope, where they find themselves in a state just like they have imagined it and making the most of it, the most of life.

1 comment:

Inspirations Unlimited said...

Congratulations! God bless you on your new journey! :)

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