Tuesday, January 12, 2010

when things go wrong

The year started wrong for me. The first week in school was TOXIC and torturous both in mind and spirit. Despite my efforts of putting it all behind me, evading academic stress is impossible. Especially when you're a senior and in three months, it's THE DAY, the GRADUATION day. DIPLOMA. The piece of paper you toiled for for the last four years in college. And seeing them crash down in slow motion is the most horrible feeling you can ever have.

Being the secretive person I am who keeps her worries to herself, I tried to keep it in at home. But nothing ever gets away from parents. Especially your mother. I have a feeling she just lets me get away with my act. To give me the satisfaction that I can hide things like these to myself. And she just knows when I'm about to breakdown. That's when she finally asks me. Right timing ALL the time.

And I'm glad that I have her, that I have them. They, especially her, give me comfort. I turn into a little kid again. Back when my Mom tells me everything's gonna be okay and I buy it wholeheartedly. And this morning, when she told me that I felt tons better!

I can put up a new fight because she told me so.

No. that's not it. I'm gonna try again because she believes in me.

Let God do the rest. AMEN.

PS God, THANK YOU for the gift of family!

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