Grad day looms near. The dread and anticipation hovering around it magnify as one day puts to a close and I wake up to face another day yet. Hoping and praying that whatever I do will amount to a decent grade on my paper. Anything RED gives me the shudders.
Say in our course, getting low marks isn't as bad as it sounds. In fact, hitting just the passing grade would allow one to heave a huge sigh of relief. Funny how other colleges see us more than this. They have no idea the pressure we are constantly in. I find it even weird that compared to other students, if we're lucky enough to stay in the program, we get to graduate THRICE. The privilege of wearing the maroon graduation gown and proudly donning that cap at the end of March spells PRESSURE. And we have to face that again and again, every torturous year starting junior year. The start of our third year marks the gradual death of social life and freedom. And I'm not exaggerating! Okay, maybe a bit. Notice that the operative word there is A BIT. Okay, words. You grammar nazi.
This week is the start, of what we're fond calling, HELL WEEKS. The Finals week officially starts now. Professors breathing at our necks and hurling quizzes and exams one after the other giving us only one freaking day at the least to prepare for an exam, say worth, five chapters! But mind you, a chapter may be four or five chapters' worth of time you spend of grasping its concept.
The point of this entry is, AGAIN, like before when I hesitantly and bravely submitted my application for graduation, at a loss on how I'll get to manage my time from this point forward. I did it once before (not without tears and restless days and nights of worry), I'm pretty sure I can very well do it again in God's grace.
Finals is our make or break. Prelims and Midterms didn't do well with most of us. We're gonna give it our best shot. I believe not one of our batch will fail and repeat one subject. From more than a hundred students, we're down to 43. We've been here this far and we're gonna put up a fight. There's but a little glimmer hope, at least, there's that light no matter how frail and flickering it is now, I believe it'll grow stronger as we work hard for the remaining exams.
THANK GOD for CAFFEINE! How else am I gonna finish all these chapters? I love you Nescafe 3 in 1. Now back to Audit Theory. Pft.
PS forgive the incoherence, not at my sane self. But wait.. I seldom am, aren't I?